So much older

I've grown older,
Older than I ever thought,
Older than the numbers that give away my age.
Old with no wrinkles to prove it.
It's all in the soul.
Wared out by events,
But mostly by me.
This old age in my shoulders,
Above all, in my eyes
Whose bright has gone.
Hidden in dreams
Gone every morning,
Awaken to every sunshine
But absent from its warmth.
I've grown older
So much older than I hoped for.
Sitting in a corner
Watching these same walls
And no will to carry on,
To fight for.
I've grown so much older
Than I'll ever be
My body won't catch up my rovering soul.
Waste in this youth I carry outside.
What made me grow so old?
Why can't time go back,
To the youth I felt inside,
To the happiness I lived,
To the paradise I was in?
Why, my youth, have you grown so much older?
27/01/03